In the 10th century B.C., a young king was called upon to settle a seemingly impossible dispute.
Two women stood before him with a single child, both claiming to be its rightful mother.
There were no witnesses. No evidence on which to base a judgment.
After hearing their case, the young king spoke:
“Get me a sword...Cut the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other.”
At this, only one of the women cried out for the king to stop:
"Pardon me, my lord! Give her the living child, and by no means kill him!"
Hearing the plea, the young king had all the evidence he needed:
"Give [this] woman the living child, and by no means kill him. She is his mother."
He knew that only the real mother would cry out in agony at the thought of the baby being harmed.
The Young King
The young king was named King Solomon.
He was the wisest man who ever lived. Until it came to his own life.
King Solomon’s legendary discernment regarding the affairs of others did not extend to his own.
He had 700 wives, 300 concubines, an obsession with wealth, and a kingdom that collapsed within a generation of his death.
What is Solomon’s Paradox?
Solomon’s Paradox is a common human behavior where people give smart, clear advice to others but struggle to make wise decisions about their own problems.
We can often see our friends’ situations clearly, but when it comes to our own lives, emotions, fear, and ego can cloud our judgment.
The main reason behind Solomon’s Paradox is this:
You’re too emotionally close to your own problems.
Because of that, your judgment gets clouded by fear, emotions, and the need to protect your ego.
This can make you irrational, biased, and defensive.
A Simple 2-Step Method to Overcome Solomon’s Paradox
STEP 1: Create Distance From the Problem
To think clearly, you need some emotional distance.
▪︎ Try Psychological Distancing:
Talk to yourself in third person
Instead of asking: “What should I do?”
Ask: “What should [Your Name] do?”
▪︎ Zoom out mentally
Imagine yourself one year from now looking back at this situation.
Will it still feel this overwhelming?
STEP 2: Coach Yourself Like You Would a Friend
Imagine you’re giving advice to someone you deeply care about.
Look at your situation from an outside perspective and ask yourself:
DECONSTRUCT: What exactly am I afraid of?
ZOOM OUT: What’s the bigger picture here?
QUESTION: Are these fears actually true, or are they just stories I’m telling myself?
The wisdom you give to others already exists inside you.
You just need enough distance to see it clearly.
So next time you’re struggling, don’t ask:
“What should I do?”
Ask:
“What advice would I give my best friend?”
Then follow your own advice.
You already have the answers. You just haven't asked the right questions yet.
Before you go: Here are 2 ways I can help
#1 Premium Newsletters FREE Access - Free access of the Premium Newsletters reading by top 1%, exclusive for Elevated Path readers.
#2 The Art Of Habits FREE GUIDE - A blueprint on how to Build Habits that Stick & Break Bad Ones.
Untill next letter
~ Elevated Path
You are right, meta cognition is so important and easy to be overlooked.